Tsuna's Birthday
by TheNastyBunny
Summary: Chapter TWO: Alcohol. Music. Cake. Handsome Men. Handsome Men in a room. Lussuria's gayness. Tsuna's Birthday. What will happen? ONESHOT!
1. Underneath It All

**Title**: I-Pod

**Rating**: M. It's Squalo and Xanxus, guys! Its a given!

**Characters/Pairings**: XS, BF, Lussuria, Levi. And God forbid, no, they're not together.

**Disclaimer**: I own Kateikyo Hitman Reborn!..NOT.

**Warning**: Un-beta-ed. Shounen-Ai. BL. Cursing. Violence. Blood. Xanxus' and Squalo's mouths combined, so prepare for the worst. Lussuria. OOC-ness. Masturbation.

**Inspired by**: Underneath it all **By:** Gwen Stefani (No Doubt) Feat. Lady Saw

_You've been warned. Carry on, Brave one, _

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**I want to thank 963Q-karin for pointing out Squalo's arm. That's the good thing about reviews you see?. Mistakes are pointed out and will be taken cared of. With reviews, We can make the stories far better. But hey, it's just my excuse for encouraging you, wonderful readers, for more reviews. :P  
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**So here's the catch, SQUALO DID NOT LOSE HIS ARM IN THIS STORY! Thanks again to karin-chan! :)  
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**Author's Note: **

This will be a compilation of stories/oneshots revolving around different pairings, sometimes only about a certain character. Each song will be dedicated to each couple and the story may or may not revolve around each song. Nonetheless, The chosen song has something to do with the development of the story. The Characters and Pairings will be changed accordingly with the couple/character of that chapter. So please take note of the title and the characters of each chapter published. The length of each story may also change from time to time and is subject to the level or lack of imaginative skills and creativity plus procrastination and laziness I may possess at that certain time. Updates for each chapter may differ depending upon the feedback, reviews, comments and alerts to the previous story, so don't expect for an update per week unless, of course, of overwhelming feedback from the readers. Listening to the song as you read the story may sound advisable but the choice is up to you, just repeat the song because it will end too soon. Anyway, so much for that. First off, **Xanxus and Squalo**.

Here we go.

* * *

_CRASH! _

_BOOM!_

_A voice echoing._

_'Huff-Huff_. Damn The Prince is tired.'

The Varia Storm Guardian, Bel, whispered to himself.

'Maybe the frog was caught. _Huff. Huff._ Ushishishi. _Pant_'

He leaned on the wall for support, panting for oxygen as he tried to catch his breath. After a few seconds, he heard footsteps. Fast, drawing nearer and nearer. Bel knew that he'd be dead if he was ever caught.

'Time to go. Ushishishi.' Run.

* * *

"YOU BETTER RUN FOR IT!!" Squalo was running around the castle, hunting the blonde psychotic prince, Belphegor and his very cute, green boytoy uhm.. illusionist, Fran.

For the prince with the Cheshire grin, while flirting with the reaction/expression challenged brat, spilled a bottle of Strawberry Milk accidentally on Squalo's precious silver hair. It's an unspoken rule, and that is, touch Squalo's hair and you die a very gory, bloody, slicey death. Much more spill a whole bottle of STRAWBERRY MILK. Only the Boss can touch the precious hair without being obliterated, since he was the Boss and Bel thinks that they have a thing going on. So before Squalo could slice Bel into a million Bel pieces, the Prince immediately got out of the room and ran for his precious noble life.

The spilling happened when Bel was busy with his hobby, stabbing his Frog kouhai, Fran, to get some sort of reaction from the cute green-haired Mist Guardian of Varia, while eating breakfast in the kitchen. But Fran, getting bored of being stabbed to death, tilted his head to avoid the sharp knife of the boy with a prince complex and the knife intended for his large head and hit the glass cabinet containing the condiments. So, the antique cabinet shattered and because of the impact, its contents fell on the floor.

Then, the door opened, giving them a full view of Squalo and his enlightening silver hair that emanates his total gayn-- loyalty to the boss.

"VOOOOII! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING BRATS?!" when he heard the crash but didn't bother to look around and instead just walked to the refrigerator. But the trick is, before he reached the fridge, the mixed vinegar, soy sauce, oyster sauce, olive oil, and not-even-god-knows-what gross thing that fell from the shattered antique glass cabinet already spread across the floor making all of it very slippery.

Fran, having a sudden vision of what's about to happen, said. "Ah, Shark-sempai, be careful, the idiot prince sempai made a mess on the floo---'. Too late.

Squalo already slipped and tried to prevent himself by grabbing the table cloth. But, since a cloth couldn't hold his whole frantic weight, just went down with him, bringing the bottle of Straberry milk with him, some bread, butter and Jelly. The bread, butter and jelly successfully made their way into the floor, adding to the mess but the unlucky bottle of strawberry milk hit right at the top of Squalo's head, spilling all its glory onto the silver hair and the sprawled man on the floor.

Fran, vanished into thin air, and Bel broke into the door with speed of light. Squalo, still shocked from the fall, was just starting to get the picture. He touched his hai--. Then, all hell broke loose.

'FUCK YOU BELPHEGOR! I'M GOING TO FUCKING RIP YOUR BALLS AND GIVE THEM LUSSURIAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

On the other hand, Bel was smirking, all the while hiding. To outrun Squalo is the same as impossible. And he's been running all over the castle. Of course, Squalo knew the fastest escape routes, and the ran guardian, being the fastest in the group, was not helping. Hiding is the only possible way to see the sunlight tomorrow. So he hid in a place Squalo would never find him, and he knows just the place, with that, he dashed left.

"Let's see if you can find the Prince, Sharkie. Ushishishi'

* * *

Squalo was sweating as if he'd just taken a bath. His shoes were still slippery from the gross mixture and his hair was fucking wet of Strawerry Milk and smelled like one too! He had been running all around the castle, looking for the blonde Bastard, but he couldn't find the fucker. He's been to almost every room in the castle and he still couldn't find the pervert bastard. He didn't bother to find the Frog since that would be much harder, considering the brat was the Mist Guardian of Varia.. He settled for the more tangible one.

At any rate, it would be impossible to find the bastard in the castle, he might also be outside of the castle by now. So Squalo decided to wait into the bastard's room. Upon arriving at the room, he scanned it with assertive eyes.

Bed.

Chair.

Table.

Curtains.

Closet.

Bathroom.

All of them empty and devoid of the presence of the Prince. He waited inside the room for almost an hour but the bastard didn't come.

'VOI! DAMN ASSHOLE!'

Squalo was pissed as hell when something caught his eye. A little piece of technology with earphones. An I-pod, on the side table. Squalo knew that Bel loved this I-pod for Bel always uses it when they are pressured and couldn't do anything but wait.

"Heh. You'll come to me eventually, Bastard. Your life is mine!"

With that, he left for his room.

* * *

Squalo was relaxing in his bathtub for quite some time now, his hair free of the wrath of the Strawberry Milk.

He washed his hair thoroughly before he decided to sink into is tub of warm water with the scent of lavender and salt of the same fragrance and bubbles of course. His scented candles were all lit. And No, he was not gay for having this kind of luxuries in the bathroom, he just doesn't believe that only the female gender should experience this kind of pleasure.

These past few days was very tiring for Squalo. He had work loads like shit, he couldn't even finish them since other members of Varia were bat shits and numb skulls.

Lussuria, yes, he's kind and cooks for them can be tolerated but not him always groping and raping the hell out of other members. Levi was, of course, Levi. Nothing could be done. Fran, you just can't leave paper works to that brat of an illusionist since he was just new and Bel was always with him, wreaking havoc everywhere with his knives. Bel, being the bastard that he is, is not just helping.

Exasperated, the Rain Guardian sighed. Well, there is one.. Xanxus. Well, Xanxus was an awesome fighter, but also a very cold Boss. He did do his work but he was always drinking. What an ass. But aside from that Xanxus was, He was such a pervert. Pencil dick--no, he is most certainly not a pencil dick, he's well endowed and has a very--Squalo shook his head, what obscene things was he thinking!

Xanxus was one hell of a violent bastard. He'd kill anyone without hesitation. He's always angry at everyone. For Xanxus, everybody's name was 'Trash'. He doesn't recognize anybody. He was way out anyone's league. But of course, the Shark's loyalty to the boss was endless. Infinite. Unquantifiable. He didn't know why. Every time they fought, Squalo would always be the one to bend his will and apologize. Xanxus words are absolute. Loyalty, for Squalo, is way beyond actions and words. He'd always prove that his loyalty to Xanxus was not half-assed. He'd kill anyone for Xanxus. He'd also give up his life for his boss. The loss of his right arm and the length of his hair were not enough for Squalo to prove his loyalty. Past sacrifices are things of the past themselves. Those are not enough. Not nearly enough. And Xanxus, as of now, is away on a mission.

According to the request, the mission would last for about two weeks. The Boss had been away for ten days. Its only been ten days yet, Squalo feels like crap. Of course he misses Xanxus but he wouldn't say it directly. Xanxus would laugh and rape him.

Squalo's flow of thought was disturbed when a roar of thunder came crashing down to be heard. Another one. And another. Rains threatening to fall. A few moments later, huge droplets of rain fell to the ground. Gusts of wind hitting the castle. A storm was brewing. Squalo didn't feel bothered. His attention was caught by the little piece of technology on the floor, where his clothes lay. Bel's I-pod. Squalo smirked. He picked it up and returned to the his alluring bathtub. He put it on shuffle and put the earphones on, put the volume on its maximum.

He closed his eyes and listened to the music, Oblivious to the angry storm outside.

Slow beats of drums was heard. Squalo smirked. _Reggae. _A voice of a woman accompanied with the steady beats of drums wafted in Squalo's ear. Her voice was not high-pitched like other women were, her's was just right. Smooth and cool. Squalo liked the voice. It was soothing. The beat, the slow tempo.

_There's times where I want something more _  
_Someone more like me_

The song was unbelievably arousing. Squalo relaxed his body against the tub and let his hair float around him.

_You're really lovely_

_Underneath it all_

_You want to love me_

_Underneath it all_

For some reason, Xanxus' face popped into his mind. Xanxus' shiny disheveled jet black hair. The high-bridged nose. The sinfully kissable male lips. Rippling muscles. Broad shoulders. His Smooth sun-kissed skin. His chiseled features. Muscular arms because of strenuous missions they've been given. The hard chest, that washboard stomach The slim hips. The strong legs, _Oh God._

_I'm really lucky_

_Underneath it all_

_You're really lovely_

_._

_._

_._

Squalo was feeling hot. His body's temperature was rising. A blush visible on his Squalo shivered.

.

.

_You know some real bad tricks_

_And you need some discipline_

.

.

His hand moved downwards, to his semi-erect shaft. The other was on his chest, touching himself all over. His fingers circled his nipples. Squalo gasped.

.

.

_So many moons that we have seen_

_Stumbling back next to me_

.

.

.

.

He pumped his shaft slowly, steadily. His fingers now pinching his own nipples. "A-ah!" Imagining Xanxus' hands mercilessly pinching them.

.

.

.

_I've seen right through and underneath_

_And you make me better_

_._

_._

_._

His hand now pumping harder, faster. He bucked his hips, matching the rhythm of his hands. The other hand, massaging his balls. He panted harshly."N-ngh!" Water splashing all around him.

.

.

.

_I've seen right through and underneath_

_And you make me better_

_Better... better..._

.

.

.

Squalo can feel his orgasm rapidly building. Squalo lifted his legs, and slipped one finger into his entrance. 'A-ah!' He moved his finger in and ten out. In and then out. In. out. In. Out.

.

.

.

_Like the heat from the fire_

_You were always burnin'_

_And each time you're around_

_My body keeps stalin'_

_For your touch_

_._

_._

Squalo, wanting more, added another finger. He stretched himself. Curling his fingers about. Finding that spot. He scissored his fingers. 'U-uah!'. He pumped harder, faster. He teased the head of his cock with his thumb.

.

.

.

_Aside from your temper_

_Everything else secure_

_You're good for me, baby_

_Oh that, I'm sure_

_Over and over again_

_I want more_

.

.

Squalo, nearing his orgasm, added one last finger and pushed all the way in. His knuckles almost entering him. He moved them faster. Faster. Harder. His fingers now reaching his prostate.

Pumping harder, faster his cock now swelling, leaking with pre-cum. "N-N-ngh-ah!' Water spilling everywhere. Harsh mewls coming out from Squalo's throat.

.

.

.

_And somehow I'm full of forgiveness_

_I guess it's meant to be_

.

.

.

.

_You're really lovely_

_Underneath it all_

_You want to love me_

_Underneath it all_

_I'm really lovely_

_Underneath it all_

_And you're really lovely_

Squalo pumped faster, faster, harder, harder. Squalo bit his lip. His fingers inside him now, deeper than ever. touching that spot again and again. Again and again. Squalo jerked his head back, white liquid came gushing out of his cock, and screamed as he reached his peak. 'XANXUS!'

The song ended. Squalo was panting, catching his breath. He washed his hands and removed the earphones. A thunder came wildly. startling the silver-haired man. By the door, a husky voice was heard.

"Hey trash. Missed me?"

Xanxus stood arrogantly by the door, clothes still stained with blood and burn marks. His guns in their respective holsters by the raven's tapered waist. A smug grin adorning his face.

Squalo turned his head wildly, "X-XANXUS?!" He jumped and tried to cover himself.

Xanxus stepped closed to him, lust visibr in his crimson eyes.

'VOOOOOOOOOOIII!! GET OUT! PERV--' Squalo's words were stopped by a bruising kiss.

**End.**

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How was it? :)

HAHAH. That was my very first try at lime and very first XS. It was awkward writing it. HAHA. But I just can't take the lime out of Xanxus and Squalo. HAHAHAHA.

Please point out any mistakes you find. Thank you.

R&R? :P

**Lyrics:** /No%20Doubt%20Lyrics/Underneath%20It%20All%

(Underneath It All Lyrics by No Doubt are the property of the respective authors, artists and labels)


	2. Doll Domination

**Characters**: Varia, Vongola, Giglio Nero, Gesso

**Genre**: Humor

**Disclaimer**: I wish I own KHR but I don't. And yes, am still wishing.

**Warning**: Crack, Un-beta-ed, overexposure to Big Mama Lussy, so come prepared, OOC-ness, Sick humor, Alcohol, Language,

**A/N**: Oookay. This was supposed to be a Lussuria crack fic, but I ended up with various pairings and I dunno why, it came out long. And. I should be updating Utopia but here I am, stuck with a sick Lussuria fic. And oh, I have nothing against homosexuality, if I did, there, obviously, wouldn't be any pairings in this.

**Summary**: Alcohol. Music. Cake. Tsuna's Birthday. Handsome men. Handsome Violent Men in a room. Lussuria's gayness. What will happen?

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'Tsunayoshi Sawada was nothing but a puny, pushover middle school student. He was always the errand boy, the stuttering coward, the no-good, lame student everybody made fun of. Tsuna was all that. Was, not anymore. .

The gradual but very noticeable change in the brown-haired boy started when he met the arcobaleno, Reborn. His vicious home-tutor molded him into the perfect epitome of a Mafia Boss, but with compassion and unwavering resolution. He had been that and still being one and more.

The startling transformation was essential for Tsuna to become a Mafia boss, especially being the successor of the largest Mafia Family, the Vongola. The training he received under Reborn was anything but easy. Years had been spent for perfecting and practicing the incoming pillar of the Vongola Family.

Blood and sweat had been given. Time had been sacrificed. Enemies had been fought, Lives had been lost. His journey was full of hardships and harsh realities, nonetheless, Tsuna made his way through all these, every battle he was in, he fought wholeheartedly and won each of them fair and square.

However, Tsuna is a person, a human being with emotions and feelings. A person with flaws and can commit mistakes, but nonetheless, Tsunayoshi Sawada will surely continue to overcome and learn from each of these obstacles and continue to become stronger, not only for the family but also for himself.

Thank you. Let's offer a toast for the 21st birthday of our beloved Tsuna, Happy birthday.'

After Irie Shoichi finished his message-cum-speech for Tsuna's special day, clinking of glasses and applause dominated the whole place. Tsuna mouthed a thank you towards the bespectacled red-head. Afterwards, Tsuna was bombarded with congratulatory hugs and kisses from his friends and family.

Gifts for the celebrant were overwhelming, not only in number, since almost each of them had gifts for him, and in amount, for Belphegor, Varia's storm guardian gave him a gift that suited only 'royalty' which was a set of made-to-order knives studded with diamonds in the handle and was made of first grade silver with which the emblem of Vongola was imprinted, but also in size, Orgelt, butler of Belphegor and Rasiel, gave him a statue of an life-size elephant which was according to him, was made from the ivory of tusks of elephants. Tsuna shuddered at what Levi or Bianchi might give him.

For every year, when a member of Vongola Family gets older another year, a party is held and each of them as extravagant as the former. A lot of Mafia Families, allies such as the Cavallone Family and soon-to-be ones are always invited, to strengthen the bond within the Vongola Family.

Tsuna, despite being the Boss of the Vongola, never really liked gatherings especially when the center of attention is him. That was the reason why every year, each family or branch of the Vongola prepares some sort of a presentation for the Boss. Of course, Tsuna couldn't do anything but comply with these trivialities since it has always been the girls, Haru, Kyoko, and Bianchi, who organize his party. He wouldn't want to hurt their feelings now, would he?

The food served for the guests were all fresh, well-made and first class, ranging from Italian delicacies to Japanese specialties, each to suit the taste of every visitor. Desserts, sweets, and pastries were made for those who have sweet tooth, such as Lambo and the girls. Beverages were in a wide array of choices, fruit juices and shakes of different flavors for the children and ladies, and alcohol of different brands and sorts for the gentlemen with various preferences for their drink.

There was music in the air. An orchestra was hired to play classic songs. As the conductor guides his team with his baton, a familiar hymn was heard, Happy Birthday to you was played for the birthday boy reaching his prime. Men and women sang with the hymn. After the song, the orchestra who has been playing for quite some time was given time to rest and eat.

After a while, the night came and engulfed the Vongola Mansion in its blanket of darkness. As soon as the dusk came into view, visitors from different families slowly dispersed, whispering apologies and greetings for a great birthday and more to come. By 9 pm, the only ones left in the Mansion were the Vongola, the assassination squad Varia, the Cavallone Family, the Giglio Nero, the Gesso and the arcobalenos.

Tsuna sighed; he was tired and sleepy but decided to enjoy the party since it was ending anyway. Little did he know that this birthday party of his will be the craziest party ever in the history of the Vongola, starting with some sort of presentation from each of the families.

* * *

A set of amplifiers replaced the orchestra in providing music. Music with fast beats and slow ones wafted into the air with cold air the night brings. Bottles, Barrels and kegs of signature alcohol were prepared for this sole purpose of finally having Tsuna warming his bed. Surprisingly, Tsuna can hold his liquor very well. But he can do something about that, we wouldn't want a stoned Tsuna right?

Contrasting colors of red and blue eyes coupled with a handsome nose and thin lips smirked at the thought. "_Kufufu. Well, Shall we begin the party_?" He straightened the imaginary creases on his coat, put on a smirk on his pale but handsome face and walked towards the center.

Rokudo Mukuro, Vongola's evil Mist Guardian, clapped his hand twice to get everyone's attention. Eyes from every corner of the room were focused on the dark-haired handsome man and he enjoyed every second of it and he will enjoy the night much more with you-all-know-who. So, Mukuro's perverted plan should start right about now.

"I think it's about time for each family's representative to perform? Isn't that right Tsunayoshi…kun?"

Having heard his name being said in a very… suggestive tone, the caramel-eyed birthday boy looked at the speaker,

"Er. I think so. So let's start? Okay. Uhm. Minna-san, who's wants to perform first?"

Strangling noises were heard, then a crash. Tsuna scooted closer to his nearest guardian, Mukuro.

Silence.

"Vongola Bossu! Let m--" BANG!

Down went Lussuria. Bel smirked.

Tsuna still scooted much closer to his guardian, oblivious of Mukuro's scheme, their distance only a couple of feet from each other.

"Hehe, serves you right Lussuria, you're just—" BANG!

Down went Levi and nobody cared.

Tsuna was startled, he stepped back again, his slender back pressed against Mukuro's touch.

The crimson-eyed man and Varia's leader, Xanxus, brusquely put his guns back to their respective holsters, and continued to down another bottle of Russian vodka.

The illusionist held Tsuna by his waist and caressed the small waist of his Boss.

Silence.

Tsuna didn't feel anything except… except fear from Xanxus' bullets and his eyebrows. Not aware of Mukuro's hands caressing him.

"Shark Trash!" he called for the silver-haired swordsman.

Squalo was startled when the bastard boss of his called him. _Sheesh, I'll be molested again. Great. _

_"_VOOOIII! WHAT DO YOU WANT BASTARD?"

Instead of answering, Xanxus pulled Squalo in his lap and started groping the slender man.

"Argh! Stop! DON'T! A- Ah—ahhhh. Ahn."

Tsuna tentatively looked around all his other visitors. All of Vongola, all of Varia, two of the Gesso, two of Giglio Nero. Sawada Tsunayoshi gulped.

_Tasukete, Kami-sama!_

Mukuro held Tsuna closer, practically molding himself into Tsuna's back. The brunette was still preoccupied with fear and nervousness.

Then, Giglio Nero Family's representative, Genkishi whom had just successfully escaped from Gamma's deathlike grip trying to keep him away from Tsuna as far as possible, suddenly produced all of his swords in front of Tsuna with a human-sized box with thin holes and said,

"Since it's your birthday, I would want you to volunteer for my presentation, Sawada-dono."

"Hieee!"

Tsuna's cowardliness was, of course, still present. Irie's speech earlier that day was a lie, a big, fat lie. He just said that to make Tsuna look more respectable and deserving of the Vongola's highest position, verbatim from Reborn's words. But the all the Mafiosi knows better.

Gokudera assertively jumped between Tsuna (and Mukuro) and the swords and snarled at the fearsome swordfighter. Dynamites, boxes, and rings at his disposal, ready in record time.

"Damn you Gen-hic-shi! -Hic- You Bastard! What's –hic- with all the swords -hic-? ", All fangs and bombs from the loyal Storm Guardian.

Genkishi just looked at the seething bomber with a blank expression. "My name is Genkishi not Gen-hic-shi. And would you please get out of the way? Or would you rather perform first?"

"T-that's absurd-hic-!" stuttered a very red and very drunk Gokudera.

"Then let him do his thing there. Just go and play nice with your very scrumptious rain guardian, which looks so hot by the way." They all looked at the man who just talked and shared some thoughts about Yamamoto.

"Why are you all looking at me? VOOOOOIII!" a very scandalized look from Squalo,

"It was the colorful fag!"

The colorful fag, Lussuria, was suddenly alive again with his twisted mind affected by the alcohol he consumed earlier and shot Yamamoto a very malicious smirk, and took a step closer and another and another.

"WTF!" was all Yamamoto could say. His usual Happy-Takeshi-Smile disappeared, eyes glinting with fear, paralyzed.

Nobody moved.

"Run for it, Yakyuu-Baka!" Gokudera said, breaking the silence and ran towards a very stupefied and disgusted baseball player dragging him away from the now advancing Muay-Thai artist.

"Save yourself!" cried Dino, very carried way with what was happening, shuddering.

"Ushishi, Go for it, _Lussy_. The Prince will reward you if you make that peasant you're bitch"

Xanxus was like, "Disgusting pieces of trash" but shot Bel a very incredulous look.

"LUSSY? What the hell is that?" Squalo cried out.

"Oh no!, We'll be scarred forever!" Tsuna exclaimed and clutched a random person's sleeve and buried his face in the poor random person's chest. He forgot that the random person was our resident pervert pineapple. His doom only minutes away.

Then the lights went out.

"Why are the lights out, Kora?"

"Minna, calm down and take your seats. Let's wait for the generator to work. I have already sent someone to start it" mediated the very cute Reborn.

Sighs of relief and gratification were heard. 10 minutes passed and still no current. Moments later, conversations between one person and another erupted.

By the right, a singsong voice asked a question sweetly, "Ne, Sho-chan, are you scared? Would you like me to hold your hand?"

"No Byakuran, I don't think I would like that" the redhead replied sternly.

Still the light-haired man held the sun-flamed man's hand and clasped it tightly. Irie Shoichi just elbowed him.

By the left was, a flat monotonous voice was lecturing a certain blonde-haired royalty.

"Bel-sempa~i,"

"Ushishi. What is it frog-kohai? Scared?"

"Are you? Anyway, I know you and Lussuria-sempai are very intimate, but please refrain from being so showy in front of people, some of us are straight you know?"

It was Fran, Fran and his gigantic frog hat. Fran was frightening with that doll face of his and monotonous voice and presumed innocence.

Stab. "Ushishi. Shut up if you don't want to get gangbanged outside." Stab.

Then, another freak was resurrected, 'Boss! Where are you Boss? Are you alright?" Levi was almost sobbing, frantic to find his beloved "boss", making his ring emit green flames to provide some sort of light.

Out of nowhere, Bianchi appeared with flashlights and candles.

"Don't use your flames. You're only wasting your energy by doing so. I watched the weather report earlier; a strong storm will hit Italy by midnight. Large part of Italy will be affected by the storm." Then she proceeded to the kitchen and continued to make her new recipe and let the boys have their fun.

Grunts of disappointments were released. It was already 11 pm. Only an hour before the storm hits them. Gamma, Genkishi, Irie Shoichi and some arcobalenos insisted to go home and check their own family (?) during the storm, disregarding the storm.

Then, Xanxus suddenly roared and said, "What the fuck was that? Next person walking out of that door will be slaughtered and will be forced into a threesome with Levi and Lussuria! Let's just drink all the alcohol, fuckin' worthless party if we don't drink!"

The others just agreed. Nobody dared to oppose Xanxus when he was ready to consume all bottles, barrels, and kegs of alcohol, which was, apparently, a lot, in the Mansion. Opposing him or merely sighing would be of instant death.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUU!"

Levi threw his revolting (that was according to Bel) self into Xanxus, so happy to finally see his boss. Xanxus stepped to his left and avoided the giant frizzy hairball. Squalo laughed maniacally when Levi crashed into someone else. Someone else named Genkishi. And Squalo was literally ROFLMAO-ing when Levi went bald, was almost skinned alive, and was almost stabbed to death if Gamma hadn't called Genkishi by the door.

After minutes of bickering, the alcohol they were waiting for was already prepared. Along with Tsuna's cake, and some food, they started to fill their stomachs with sweets, carbs and alcohol. While they were eating, some of them drinking, Xanxus, feeling playful, proposed that they play a game, a drinking game.

"What do we get if we win?" asked Dino while smiling down at the scowling Kyouya then looked at Xanxus.

Then Reborn butted in. "If you win, you can wish for anything and the Vongola will provide it."

"Anything? So I can have Namimori if I win then?" Kyouya asked, interest piqued.

"Yes. That would be possible Hibari." Reborn smirked.

Xanxus always wanted to renovate his castle since last year but he has been so busy and the money needed was no joke. _Heh. I'll make that Vongola trash pay for everything._

"I want to have Little Vongola. Kufufu" Mukuro said, straight to the point, as he gripped Tsuna tighter.

"Heh. We can arrange that." Reborn was almost laughing.

"N-nani? REBORN! WHAT WAS THAT? LET GO!" Tsuna, finally noticing that Mukuro was raping him with caresses and touches, struggled but Mukuro's grip was vice-like.

"Then you should just prevent Mukuro-kun from winning." Byakuran said, mind already fixed on what will his price be.

"Perhaps we could all take a seat and discuss this like the respectable men that we are."

So, Tsuna was finally released from Mukuro as they sat around the big circular table.

Eventually, all of then joined the game, voluntary or otherwise. Shoichi explained the mechanics of the game.

"It will be a tournament-based game. Each of you will face another, and whoever wins goes to the next round and plays again with another winner. To win, you'd have to drink what was given to you. All of it and then ask someone a question, if he answers it, repeat what he said in a sentence form, if not go find another person and ask it again."

"Any questions?"

"So can I ask, for example, what his full name is? Heh. Easy."

"Questions will be provided for you after you finish your drink."

"Clarifications? Violent reactions?... None. 'Kay, let's draw lots. And oh, give me your rings and boxes, they're not allowed. Reborn will keep them locked in a room."

Rings and boxes were passed and locked away, all of them devoid of anything that can be used for cheating. But before the redhead could bring the draw lots out, a blinding light was suddenly focused on the middle of their big round table. The amplifiers were suddenly working again and the lights were back, however, were only on dim and slowly vanished altogether, but the spotlight still focused on the middle of the table, accentuating the now halved cake and some bottles of wine.

Eyebrows of black, teal, blonde and brunette furrowed, foreheads knotted, and murmurs of confusion erupted from the men. Then the amplifiers viciously released the sound of a siren. Startled, all of them looked around, and then Yamamoto and Gokudera were panting and catching their breaths as they entered the hall again and locked all the doors.

"What are you doing peasants?" Bel inquired when the two of them threw the keys out the window.

The sound of a siren now disappeared and was replaced by a song with fast, catchy beats.

"We barely managed to escape that—GYAAAAAAAAAH!" Gokudera fainted.

"WHAT THE FUC--!" gasped Byakuran, almost the same time as Gokudera, gaze fixed at the center of the table. All eyes followed his gaze.

A woman's husky voice was heard singing with song and then a thud on the table.

On the table, along with the cake and the booze was a very drunk cloaked Lussuria and a tall hat with a cane in tow.

Cake, booze + Lussuria on a table. Not good.

A deafening silence.

Mukuro's epic groping of Tsuna stilled.

_Boys call you sexy_

_And you don't care what they say_

_See every time you turn around_

_They screaming your name_

Lussuria giggled as he slowly, sensually took off the cloak, showing inch by inch the red leather corset….

All Dino could hear was the pounding of his heart, rivaling the beats that the amplifiers produced.

_Now I've got a confession_

_When I was young I wanted attention_

_And I promised myself that I'd do anything_

_Anything at all for them to_

The form-fitting leather miniskirt, glistening at the lighting the spotlight gave him…

Tsuna felt his sweaty hands produce more droplets of sweat despite the cold air the rain brought with it.

_But I ain't complaining_

_We all wanna be famous_

_So go ahead and say what you wanna say_

The fishnet stockings hugging the sun guardian's muscular and bulky legs,

Ryohei dared not to move, He didn't want any attention from Lussuria, TO THE EXTREME!

_You don?t know what its like to be nameless_

_Want them to know what your name is_

_Cuz see when I was younger I would say_

The knee-high black boots with chains, clinking with every step he took, closer and closer…

Irie Shoichi fell from his chair with quivering knees. THE HORROR!

_When I grow up_

_I wanna be famous_

_I wanna be a star_

_I wanna be in movies_

Closer and closer to each of them, giving each of them a view of what is under that skirt…

Squalo was in animated suspension, wheezing. MY EYES! NOOOOOOOOOO!

_When I grow up_

_I wanna see the world_

_Drive nice cars_

_I wanna have groupies_

Lussuria gyrated his hips, matching every beat of the music, as he mouthed the lyrics.

Hibari… Hibari was formidable… Not. I… I… _I WOULDN'T BITE ANYBODY TO DEATH ANYMORE! _ His thoughts screaming but only a quivering smirk was on his face.

Hibird was pecking Kyouya's shoulder, "Hibari! Hibari! Don't look Hibari! Run!"

_When I grow up_

_Be on TV_

_People know me_

_Be on magazines_

The man circled the pole, giving each of them a very sultry look as he walked catlike around the pole.

Fran tried not to show any emotion, but he was asking for the impossible, a sob escaped from his lips. WILL I EVER SEE THE MORNING AGAIN?

_When I grow up_

_Fresh and clean_

_Number one chick_

_When I step out on the scene_

Lussuria jumped on the pole, locking his legs on the length, grinding against the poor, abused steel.

Byakuran so nervous that he looked like was constipating. His face was indescribable, he was clutching the armrests.

_Be careful what you wish for_

_Cuz you just might get it_

_You just might get it_

_You just might get it_

Humping.

Lussuria.

Humping.

Mukuro's libido suddenly plummeted and was instantly replaced by shock and nervousness.

_They used to tell me I was silly_

_Until I popped up on the TV_

_I always wanted to be a superstar_

_And knew that singing songs would get me this far_

Lussuria Humping.

Xanxus readied his guns, for the first time in his life, he knew fear what fear is. He readied his guns. He can't take this. This is, by far, the most effective torture he had to endure and he can't take it. I HAVE NO FUCKING CHOICE!

His fingers were shaking, accuracy dropping to the lowest; still he was ready to shoot and stop this madness.

Then before the triggers were pulled, the music stopped, the living nightmares halted, all of them searching for the face of the one who saved them.

The hero was embodied by Lambo Bovino. "What? You were being loud. I was trying to sleep you know." Yes. The forgotten Italian was asleep by the farthest corner of the room since after dessert.

Xanxus dropped his guns from both sided of his head. "Suicide wasn't needed after all."

Hibari was now scowling but let out a sigh of relief. "I didn't know bovines were also carnivores. Thank someone for the new specie" (HAHAH. XD)

Dino didn't die of heart failure. "GRAZZIE!"

Fran wasn't sobbing anymore. "Sankyuu, Curly-haired Cow"

Irie can now move properly. "DOMO ARIGATOU LAMBO-SAMAAAAAA!"

Tsuna's sweaty hands instantly dried. "LAMBOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Byakuran looked refreshed. 'I knew it! The Marshmallow God didn't abandon me!"

Squalo forgot his wish to go blind. "VOOOOOOOOI!"

Ryohei can now move TO THE EXTREME! "A HERO! To the extreme!"

The teenage cow was tackled by a mass of handsome and hysterical men, ready to grovel and worship him. Everybody was hugging/touching/kissing/petting him. Hibari even touched his sleeve. And Xanxus hit him weakly in the head with his gun. Byakuran gave him marshmallows and Squalo gave him some long strands of hair. It was disturbing, really.

Cheers of merriment and relief plus eventual sex were interrupted by a maniacal high-pitched gay rainbow laugh accompanied by a surge of lightning.

'HAHAHAHA! YOU SHALL ALL WATCH ME 'TIL THE END!"

Music wafted throughout the air, another bout of Pussycat Dolls' song was playing. The clashing of cymbals was heard, then some sort of Indian music.

_I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby._

_Uh Huh.  
But you keep fronting._

_Huh.  
Saying what you going do to me  
Uh huh  
But I ain't seen nothing _

_Uh  
_  
Sounds of zippers and popping of buttons were heard. Then a piece of red leather hit Ryohei by the face.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHILKJBincdcklvnvjCXLSDCdNdfdsfsdfsdfdfdfsererwffdssdfsdfsfsdsdsdfsdfsdfdssdfSDACXMLWSXNZM"CKX EJHWDKCJjsmx,z dkwsCHKs.,c,baclsdkjvkcndfvsfvd!"

* * *

Tsuna woke up screaming, soaked in sweat and his pulse racing. Trying to catch his breath, he blinked his golden-brown eyes twice and collected himself.

_What a dream, perverted Mukuro was already bad. But Lussuria? God… _

He pushed the soft, fluffy sheets away from his frame. Tsuna felt very sluggish and tired as if he joined in an Olympic triathlon. Yawning, he glanced at the open window by his right, it was already the crack of dawn but the morning was not sunny as it was yesterday. Dark, big nimbus clouds were hovering over the mansion, drizzling rain were falling from the gloomy clouds. Violent gusts of wind were making the trees bend in different directions.

He looked at his wall clock by the window: 5:30am. Too early.

Tsuna decided to sleep some more and went back into the bed and covered himself with the blanket cause the rains brought with them very cold winds. His bed felt like heaven, warm and inviting. He shifted his position until he felt comfortable and safe. He buried his face in the warmth and shuffled closer. An arm hugging him closer, craving for more contact, the body beside him was…

!

'W-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?' Tsuna screamed; that man was in his bed, soundly sleeping, casually hugging him and casually touching him in various places!

'Kufufufu. So lively in the morning aren't you?"

"Wha-What? H-how did you get in here?"

"Kufufufu. You certainly are a bundle of energy considering all that commotion last night. Lussuria was. God... I don't even want to remember."

"Lussuria?" The Vongola Boss could only sob in frustration as he trashed the sheets, like a child throwing a tantrum.

Mukuro chuckled and leaned towards the brunette, trying to steal a kiss. But before the pink luscious lips could touch Tsuna's, the smaller man jerked backwards and fell from the bed. As he was sprawled on the floor, a sharp ache shot from his pert ass and shot upwards. Realizing what he and Mukuro just did to make his ass sore and hurting, Tsuna's eyes widened for a moment to scan the state of his dress err… undress.

Tsuna was rid of any clothes. Red and purple spots of assorted sizes were scattered around his chest, legs, thighs and inner thighs. Bite marks and teeth marks also played upon his neck, stomach, hips and thighs, some hickeys were sucked so hard that the skin bruised. Eyes filled with accusation and frustration looked at Mukuro.

Disheveled long, dark blue hair framing his sinfully handsome face, mismatched sultry eyes, a smirk adorning his pink, kissable lips, sinewy neck muscles and broad, lean shoulders, angry looking bite marks broke the pale skin of where neck met shoulder, dried blood from the wound the bite marks produced.

A feeling of guilt ate Tsuna for a moment. _I must have bitten him so hard._

Still, Tsuna's eyes dropped lower, scanning the hard chest, the creamy brown-pink nipples, the washboard stomach, six pack abs, the trail of dark blue hair continued under his pineapple printed indigo boxers, the rest of the body covered with Tsuna's black sheets.

The sky bit his pink lips as he felt blood rush downwards at the same time a blush crept on his face and neck. _I want to do it. God! What's wrong with me?._

"Don't look at me like that, Tsunayoshi. If you want to be able to walk for the next three days"

Red and blue met golden-brown ones, the mismatched eyes with undeniable insatiable lust, wanting and sadistic pleasure, the once innocent golden-brown eyes with wavering reluctance, need and unmatched seduction.

Tsuna felt that he was already fully aroused; blood throbbed in his lips, the pounding of his heart, he felt bold and crawled sensually towards the bed bit his lower lip, panted, and purred.

Then, with fast measured movements, Tsuna was suddenly slammed into the carpeted floor, hard.

"You asked for it."

Tsuna's scream was swallowed when a brutal pair of lips lapped his own throbbing lips.

End.

* * *

Eeeep. 5000. O.O That's long.

Poor Tsu-kun, Mukuro's such a sadistic pervert. Hahaha.

About the lemon, I got kinda lazy. *Runs away!

Haha. Maybe a sequel? Or not. HAHA,

**Songs**: When I Grow Up, Buttons **Both By**: Pussycat Dolls.

The lyrics belong to the Pussycat dolls and whatnot.

And please point out any mistakes and typos. :)

No flames please.

Review okay? They make me happy :P

*Goes off to the beach


End file.
